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If It Bleeds, Robert Rodriguez Can Produce It?

January 30, 2009

predator

I’ve always been one of these people who didn’t really care one way or another about remakes. I can at the very least understand that some things are sacred, and there are several classic films that should NEVER be touched. And even if someone actually dares to try, I’ll at least keep an open mind until I see the thing for myself. ‘Cause lord knows there were a few remakes in recent memory that pushed me to a place where I needed high-grade pharmaceuticals to pull me back from the brink! The remake 0f The Hitcher comes to mind.

Now Bloody Disgusting is reporting that 20th Century Fox, a company that’s been sucking at life for the last two years, is looking to reboot/remake Predator, with Robert Rodriguez and Troublemaker Studios onboard to produce. No word yet on whether or not he’d be willing to direct, though.

Now, on the one hand, the idea of a Predator sequel involving Rodriguez sounds delightfully badass. He’s got a great eye for action, doesn’t shy away from gore, it seems right up his alley. But a remake? Can one really improve upon, or simply match the bassassery that is Predator? This movie is so exponentially awesome, it spawned TWO governors!!! Movies like this REALLY don’t get made anymore. A lot of directors and stars are making some good efforts (Stallone may pull it off with The Expendables, though), but there’s something about Predator that has been hard as hell to duplicate in other films.

It’s easily my favorite Schwarzenegger film, and incredibly quotable! Even before you get to anything Arnie says, you’ve got Lethal Weapon screenwriter Shane Black as a soldier that does nothing but tell jokes about how abnormally large his girlfriend’s vagina is!! It’s the right amount of humor at the right time, just before Preddie starts pickin’ off Schwarzenegger’s teammates. At this point, it becomes a total survival movie, and you really see Arnold get beat down and almost defeated. He comes off a lot more like a human being than any other film he’s been in, films where he’s portrayed as a superhuman badass even in the films that are heavily grounded in reality. And of course, there’s Kevin Peter Hall as the Predator. At 7’2″, he was over a foot taller than Arnold, making him that much more imposing. Couple that with Stan Winton’s creature effects, and you’ve got gold.

If this remake really is happening, there are two things they need to do; for starters, get Stan Winston Studios involved. The worst thing the Alien vs Predator movies could do (besides being made at all), was to not involve Stan Winston (even more of a shame, now that he’s dead!). And second, get rid of the multiple Predators idea. . . because it’s gay.  .  . gay.

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