Archive for March, 2009

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Fun With Captions! – 70s Swedish Dance Bands

March 27, 2009

How does my former supervisor expect me to be productive at work when he sends me such gloriously distracting fuckery?!? Now I can’t focus on anything else!

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“Someone remind me to shoot Grandma in the face for buying us these shirts.”

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“Is it too late to audition for Superman II?”

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“Your sons all have such beautiful hair!”
“The secret is to breastfeed them until right before puberty!”

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Another reason to stay in on St. Patrick’s Day.

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Funk you can hear. . . AND smell!!!

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SPOT THE GAY!!!. . . . give up? . . . . alright, it’s the one in the yellow shirt!

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Friday Afternoon Videos: Supreme Beings of Leisure – Strangelove Addiction

March 27, 2009

I’m gonna have to start an online petition to get Geri Soriano-Lightwood, at the very least, considered for the theme to the next Bond movie (whenever that is), ’cause the fact that her voice has never graced a Bond theme is damn-near criminal!  In any event, it’s always nice to revisit videos for artists who don’t really put out that many. This one in particular. The kitchy-cool, modern-art animation style and occasional bouts of incoherence are surprisingly fitting for the song. SBL’s whole first album, for that matter, is a work of electro-lounge brilliance.

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My Future Ex-Wife Of The Week: Annie Wersching

March 26, 2009

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I actually thought she was a bit older than she actually is, inspiring me to have the occasional “cougar fantasy” whenever I would watch 24, only to discover that she’s only three years older than me! (32) Still, Wersching’s been kicking so much ass (and looking good doing it)  as FBI agent Renee Walker, that some critics have dubbed her “The Female Jack Bauer”. Lord knows she’s become quite adept at torturing terrorists and threatening the loved ones of terrorists. And she’s got a leg up on Jack, thanks to not having a dumb-as-rocks daughter who gets attacked by mountain lions or framed for murder.

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Beyonce Swagger Jackin’ And Black Female Objectification?!

March 25, 2009

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So Ciara dropped the video for her song  “Love, Sex and Magic” featuring Justin Timberlake last week, and I’ve been reading so many opinions on other blogs, and I figured I’d chime in. My initial reaction to the vid . . . . it does kind of tickle the wang. Ciara is known for her provocative, intricate dance choreography, and there’s a lot of sexual imagery in addition to those sexy moves. The song is called “Love, Sex and Magic” for cryin’ out loud! Now, perhaps I don’t spend as much time as others do scrutinizing music videos, but  some seem to think Ciara might have lifted a few elements from Beyonce’s recent videos, specifically the video for “Diva”.

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And while even I’ll admit, some of the comparisons may hold weight, I honestly don’t see that big of an issue. I think people need to stop looking at Beyonce like she’s the “Mitochondrial Eve” of pop msuic. I love her to death, but she’s one of the least “innovate” artists ever to grace the pop charts. And for whatever retarded reason, the media wants to cultivate a diva-beef, including the likes of CiCi, BeBe, and Keri Hilson, who allegedly called out the other two on her remix for her song “Turnin’ Me On”. Must we go down that road? Aren’t rap beefs nowadays laughable enough, without instigating petty catfights between songstresses.

The other issue seems to be the overtly sexual nature of the video, and Ciara’s collaborator on the song, Mr. Justin Timberlake. Some accuse him of “getting a pass” for apparently taking advantage of black female artists to boost his own career. They cite Timberlake’s actions in the video being degrading and oversexualizing towards black women, including Timberlake tugging at a leash around Ciara’s neck. They also bring up Janet Jackson and the wardrobe malfuction from the 2004 Superbowl, and it all just starts to hurt my head after a while. The implication that his actions damaged her career are especially ridiculous. Now, let me just say, that I can at the very least see where some may want to come to the conclusion of Timberlake’s actions being a symptom of a larger problem in regards to how black female artists are presented to mainstream music audiences, but I sure as shit don’t agree with it completely.

As to the whole Janet Jackson thing, yes, it was a dick move on his part leaving Janet to take most of the blame for the incident, but part of the blame was still hers to take. Even if he owned up to his part as equally as Janet did, I doubt it had any lasting negative affect on her career. If irreparable damage was done because of the incident in general, it’s her fault just as much as it’s his. But let’s be realistic and consider that maybe, just maybe, Janet Jackson’s career hasn’t be all that great because the material she’s putting out now *GASP!*. . . .  just isn’t that good. Far as I can tell, her best years were behind her long before JT exposed her tittay for the whole country to see. Everything she’s done post-Velvet Rope has either been a solid meh-inducer, or full-on pigeon scat! If she really wanted to, she could have taken a step back after the incident, and examined her career, and what kind of image she wanted to portray. You could argue that the “big bad music industry” manipulated her into continuing to sell sex, but this woman’s been in the game for over 20 years. If anyone has the clout to tell a record label that she’s gonna do her thing her way, Janet Jackson definitely could have. 

But back to Ciara, my question is, what do you want from an artist of such marginal talent outside the realm of dancing. Dollars to donuts, you don’t wanna hear this heffer sing live. And that’s something that can be said of a lot of these chicks. They might be great writers, but their vocals suck. They may just barely be able to carry a tune, but they can’t seem to come out with anything meaningful to say in their songs. And as to this issue of black female singers in particular being presented in an oversexed manner, well uh, that’s not just a “black women” issue. That’s a WOMEN issue! That’s any chick of any race, who more than likely got record deals despite having little in the way of any real musical talent, and have had to depend solely on sex appeal. And let’s not act like the mainstream music industry is always rewarding sex appeal over genuine talent. Hell, look at this past year’s Grammys. Hardly any of the non-white female nominees are known for being overtly sexual in their image or their music. Even beyond that, what if they were? God forbid an artist who presents themselves as being overtly sexual actually has a broader view of sexuality beyond cheesy romance novels, and isn’t “being manipulated by the even record company”. God forbid a black woman be into BDSM. Should she feel guilty given blacks’ history with slavery? Of course I’m not suggesting we forget slavery ever happened, but I think our insistence on dwelling on it hinders more than it helps us. 

Now listen, I don’t want to discount or discredit anyone’s opinion, but quite frankly, I feel like this is one of these instances where some people are really going out of their way to take issue with this video, and the individuals involved.

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Blackout! 2 Coming Next Month?!?! Really?!?!

March 25, 2009

In a previous incarnation of Because I Said So, I did a piece called “Where’s the Follow-Up?!?”, where I talked about the pairing of Redman and Method Man for the album Blackout!. For those who know me, they know it’s one of my favorite hip-hop albums, and that I’ve been baffled as to why they hadn’t come out with a sophomore effort. But apparently, I don’t have to ponder this anymore, as Blackout! 2 is set for release on April 28th.

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Predictions? Taking into account every song they’ve ever performed together, whether it be on Blackout!, a soundtrack, or each other’s solo albums, I’ve never completely disliked a Red/Meth song. Some of have been better than others, but I can’t think of any of them being inherently bad. I supposed that’s a serious matter of opinion, but I just feel like they’ve always managed to play so well off of each other, that it elevates songs that would otherwise be mediocre. To that end, I think Blackout! 2  could, at the very least, be “just okay”. I seriously doubt it can match the sheer raw magic of the first album, but I see no reason why it can’t be an enjoyable effort from two well-respected vets of the rap game.

Download: Redman & Method Man – City Lights feat. UGK

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Friday Afternoon Videos: Portishead – All Mine

March 20, 2009

I just love that the video is basically the cover to their sophomore album, brought to life. The whole thing is just so delightfully creepy, from the black and white “60s entertainment/variety show” motif, to Beth Gibbons sultry yet haunting voice coming from a little girl, it can kinda fuck with your head a bit. Then again, what else do you expect from Portishead?!?

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My Future Ex-Wife Of The Week: Jessica Lucas

March 19, 2009

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One of my favorite parts of Cloverfield . . . . they let the black girl live!!! Ms. Lucas was the black girl in question, and she’s pretty much “the black girl” in everything I’ve seen her in. Not that I’m mad at her! You gotta get your money up and build your resume! In any event, I just think she’s cute as hell. Not necessarily “sexy”, but just cute. And that’s nice every once in a while. She has a very warm and inviting look, making her seem a lot more down-to-earth than other actresses and celerbrities.

I may just have to watch the new Melrose Place when it starts next fall, ’cause she’ll be “the black girl” on that show. And like Vanessa Williams (not the singer/actress/former Miss America/Playboy centerfold) from the original MP, she’ll probably be gone after the first season.