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My Awkward Break-Up With Heroes

April 28, 2009

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**BEWARE, SEASON THREE FINALE SPOILERS!!!**

Hey, I’m glad you came, ’cause we really need to talk. So, I’ve been really thinking about this, and. . . .well, after your season three finale last night, well. . . . .I just don’t think things are gonna work out between us anymore. No, please don’t start crying, you have to understand, I didn’t want this. From the moment on saw you on NBC’s Fall 2006 schedule, I knew I had to watch you. You were the kind of show a comic fan like me would love. I didn’t even care that USA’s 4400 had a somewhat similar take on normal people with abilities in the real world, and in retrospect, did it a lot better. But you, Heroes, you seemed to shoot for something far more epic and profound.

But now I’m beginning to wonder . . . . . what’s the point? What are you ultimately trying to share with me, because quite frankly, you’ve seemed rather aimless and distant since the end of season one. To say nothing of your characters, so many of them making the dumbest decisions ever in television history. For a show called Heroes, you’ve shown very little heroism from them. For the most part, everyone has a self-serving agenda that more often than not, blows up in their faces by the end of every season. Even the people trying to be heroic are merely indulging themselves because they like the idea of being a hero. They put so much emphasis on it that they miss the point of heroism altogether. Characters you insist on trying to make us care about die purely for shock value, with little attention paid to how their deaths would serve a larger story. Killing off Nathan Petrelli was one thing, but the idea of replacing him with a brainwashed, shapeshifting Sylar? It’s not a matter of “if” this blows up in Angela, Noah, and Matt’s faces, but “WHEN”. I can only imagine Peter will finally do us all a favor and kill Angela once and for all, as this kind of betrayl cannot be forgiven under any circumstances. To say nothing of Claire, who’s already been thoroughly mind-fucked by Sylar AND her adoptive father. Basically, we’ll have yet another roller-coaster drop, as Claire and Peter will return to hating their parents, and then go off to do more stupid shit than they’ve already done every other time they were mad at their families! The vicious cycle of whining and “woe is me”-ing will continue, and I’ll be frustrated from having to endure this, instead of seeing these characters live up to the name of the freakin’ show!

Is this how you are with all the other guys, Heroes? Are you really nothing more than a vindictive cocktease? What did we ever do to you? What did we do to deserve this punishment? I guess it doesn’t matter now. ‘Cause I think it’s time we went our separate ways. Maybe only catch up with season four online. Or maybe rent the DVD on Netflix after the episodes finish running on TV. Even NBC might be ready to break up with you, too. I heard they cut back on your episodes. That’s gotta be rough, I’m sure. Besides, there’s another show. It’s been there for me, even if we had to take a long break ’cause of the writers’s strike. Maybe you’ve heard of 24?

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