Archive for April, 2010

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My Future Ex-Wife Of The Week: Shay Maria

April 30, 2010

Since Popcultureshock is currently experiencing technical difficulties, I decided to bring this feature back for a one-time, limited engagement, ’cause believe it or not, I just remembered how smokin’ this girl is! Normally, I have other reasons for liking a particular lady, beyond just her looks, but quite frankly, I don’t know much about Shay Maria. Yeah, I just felt like being blatantly superficial today. Don’t like it? Well, you can just . . . go to heck! That’s right, darn you to HECK!!!

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Damn, Even Stinkmeaner Thinks You Be Slackin’ Off, Aaron McGruder!

April 30, 2010

I am lovin’ all these promo clips for the new (and final) season of The Boondocks! Nice to know Aaron McGruder is fully aware of all the flack he gets from fans as to the time it takes for new seasons to premiere. Two-year gaps between seasons, muthafucka?!? And I thought Lost fans had it bad!


Source: Boondocks Bootleg

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But They Already Remade Commando . . . It Was Called Taken!

April 29, 2010


Remake my movie? No Chance . . . . of it being good!

Unlike most people, I don’t get consumed with rabid, baby-eating rage when I hear about a popular film (even the ones from five to ten minutes ago) being remade. If anything, it’s a good catalyst for bringing awareness of those original films to a new generation of filmgoers, and we more than likely get a shiny and new DVD/Blu-Ray release to coincide with the remake. Depending on the circumstances, it’s a pretty win-win situation, if some people stopped whining about the sexual assault of their childhood to really think about it. In fact, one of the only remakes that really stuck in my craw was the one for The Hitcher. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was watching a really bad romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez (who am I kidding, they’re ALL bad!). And dammit if the sight of Sophia Bush, in all her pink tank-topped, denim mini skirted, cowgirl-booted glory, jumping slow-motion out the back of a flaming police van whilst wielding a shotgun bigger than her, didn’t elevate the offensiveness of the film from simple aggravated sexual assault, to full-on forcibly sodomy! For those who haven’t quite picked up on it yet . . . . I fuckin’ hate this movie! Read the rest of this entry ?

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I Bet The Psychic Vampire Baby Birth Will be Accompanied By A Musical Number

April 28, 2010


COTDAMN! This baby’s kickin’ like a mule!

I’m plagued by “what ifs”. “What if I had ordered the chicken instead of the pork at lunch today?” “What if I got glasses to see better when I drive?” “What if God was one of us”? You know, important stuff! But rarely did I ever wonder, “What if Bill Condon directed a Twilight movie?” And I’m the guy who thinks it would be pure meta-genius if Kathryn Bigelow directed a Fast and the Furious sequel (C’mon, that first film is SOOOO Point Break, Keanu Reeves filed a lawsuit against Paul Walker for “performance infringement”!)! But word is, the director behind Dream Girls, who also wrote Chicago, will indeed by directing Breaking Dawn, based on the last book in the Twilight series. Read the rest of this entry ?

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My Review Of The Losers, or “Zoe Saldana Has A Rocket Laucher . . . Your Argument Is Invalid!”

April 23, 2010

This summer is looking to be the battle of “elite special forces soldiers gone rogue” action flicks, and The Losers hopes to draw first blood. Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book, the film follows a covert ops team, thought dead and hiding out in Bolivia after a mission goes south. When team leader Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is approached (rather violently!) by the mysterious Aisha (Zoe Saldana), she convinces him and the rest of the Losers that she can get them close to the man who set them up, Max (Jason Patric). Read the rest of this entry ?

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50 Cent: Killing Val Kilmer’s Career Soon At A Redbox Near You!

April 22, 2010

Spotted at The Smoking Section

Sweet biscuits is there a lot of f*ckery going on with this poster. I could end with the fact that it’s a movie poster with 50 Cent on it. That means he’s “acting” again. (RUN!!!!) But beyond that, you’ve got the fact that Val Kilmer’s name is on the poster. Which means he agreed to be in a movie with 50 Cent . . . . AGAIN!! Read the rest of this entry ?

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The Series We All Want To See Happen!

April 21, 2010

Because I’m equally bored and lazy at the moment, dine on this!